One year ago today I was less selfish than I’ve ever been before. At 1:15 pm on November 6, 2015, I set my very best friend free. I think of that last lick on my hand or her hair that stuck to my clothes as I lay beside her in her final hours. I remember those deep, soulful brown eyes that will never greet me with such joyful expression or meet mine from the backseat of “her” Honda. I’ll never enjoy her comforting presence at my side, each basking in our inherent mutual trust and it breaks my heart all over again. I know some people don’t understand and say “it’s just a dog.” But she saved my life in more ways than one. She was my muse, the reason to put one foot in front of the other when life had nearly defeated me. She gave me something that no single human, animal, or event had ever managed to do before and I will be eternally grateful for being blessed when I adopted that little black puppy from Calais, Maine in 2005.
My life is never going to be quite the same.Yes I have other companion animals that I love with all my heart. They make me laugh, always keeping me on my toes with their individually unique personalities. They shower me with love and affection as do I them. I spend more time and money on their medical care than on my own and that’s ok; they’re family. Yet something is missing, an essence that Callie brought forth every single day. I can’t describe our bond. It was like the once in a lifetime love many people have with a companion, beautiful but beyond words. I miss my love and look forward to the day I am reunited with my beautiful black girl.