My Life Has Become An Old Country Song…

I don’t even now where to begin anymore for it seems that every day something else goes wrong. Still waiting for my January 31, 2017 appointment for YAG procedure  (but only one eye) to remove the scar tissue. The office can’t even give me a general idea of how long before the second eye is done. Then I have to go back to be fitted for glasses and the way they book far in advance I’m thinking that won’t happen until March or April. Meanwhile I have to keep replacing the cheater glasses as my vision worsens. I’m currently at the next to the strongest strength and have to practically have to hold something directly in front of my face to be able to read it. Then of course there’s the green circles and arches that appear every time I look directly at a light. Visual disturbances have always been a primary trigger for migraines so it’s like a vicious circle. I don’t want to keep the lights dimmed because of Sasha’s impaired vision so I basically try to avoid looking at lights or lamp fixtures. I don’t go out unless it’s to the doctors so haven’t left the house since Dec. 6.

When I saw the new neurologist on December 2, I was told his staff would call me as soon as they got the preauthorization for the Botox  injects for migraines (it’s very expensive so needs a PA). They also said that once they had the PA they’d get me right in because I  haven’t had Botox since June 13 and it’s supposed to be given every 3 months. I’ve been getting Botox for several years and my insurance company approves in 48 hours max. Since my appointment was on a Friday I hoped to hear from them no later than the following Thursday, Dec. 8. Nothing. So I called their office on Monday Dec 12 and after speaking to two different people was transferred to “Chrissy”. Left a VM for her around 10 am but no callback. Long story short I called every day and always had to leave a VM. On Thursday Dec. 15 I called and instead of the elusive Chrissy’s line I chose the prompt for making an appointment. Told the woman my story and upon checking my file she didn’t see anything about the Botox PA. I called again on Friday Dec. 16 and used a line I haven’t used in several years. Once again I chose the prompt for making an appointment and when a woman answered I offered my condolences on Chrissy’s death then asked to be connected with whomever took her place. The woman was quite shocked and said “Chrissy’s not dead!!!”. I started my response in a sickening sweet voice I break out from time to time and said “Oh dear me, I must apologize then because I surely thought she was. Followed that with full bitch mode by saying “Why else would someone fail to return nearly a dozen phone calls? What other reason could there be for such egregious incompetence? And by the way, will you send me an application because I’ve always wanted a job where I did nothing yet collected a paycheck”. She was really rattled but assured me she would get a message to Chrissy. I laughed and said that may be but she wouldn’t call back. She said she’s send the message from her terminal to Chrissy’s. Then I told her to add that IF Chrissy called back she would be reaching an advanced practice nurse so don’t even try to give me any BS “because that won’t float”. I didn’t even bother waiting to see if Chrissy (whom I’d decided may not be real) to call; I called my insurance company who has always been wonderful to work with. Upon checking the file and phone log, she told me someone from the neurologist’s office called on Tuesday Dec. 6 but something must have come up as they said they would call back in a minute. The insurance company said there was no record of a callback. I really had to fight to hold back tears at this point as I was beyond frustrated. The insurance company said they would have their pharmacy department reach out to the office and that she personally would reach out. By the way, never did hear from Chrissy that day. Om Tuesday Dec. 20 the same woman from the insurance company called at 9am. She started off ny asking if the neuro’s office had contacted me and I said no. She said that both she and the pharmacy department left VM’s the previous week and they had not been returned either. She asked my permission to open up a case so they could track this providers office and of course I said yes. She also suggested I call the office to at least make the appointment for the injections as they had approved them. Lo and behold  before I had a chance to call the neuro’s office they called me. After I got up from the floor where I had collapsed in shock, Chrissy told me she had taken a few days off the previous week. I won’t bore you with the details of what I said but it wasn’t pretty. She countered with “I was waiting on your insurance”. I followed up with something that also wasn’t pretty. She told me she had good news for me though ~ she had my appointment date. January 2, 2017. I was like WHAT?????? So by the time I get the injects it will be 7 months since I last had them and I’ll be so far off schedule that they won’t be effective until the second set of injections in April. I’m going to get them in Jan. but have already started looking for a different neurologist. He might be great but his staff is hands down the worst I’ve ever encountered and since moving here I’ve met my share of rude and incompetent medical support staff. I’m just not putting up with this nonsense all the time. Before I bid a farewell to Facebook I met a woman in a GSD group from Maine. We struck up a casual conversation and then I didn’t see her for a few days. When she came back online she said she’d had a “breakthrough” migraine. Not knowing what type of medication she took I told her of the good results I’d had with Botox. She said that she gets the injects every 3 months in Worcester MA. I remember being shocked as from her location to Worcester is over 250 miles and a 4 hour drive ~ one way! I wondered why she would travel so far but after my “Maine Botox Experiences (yes plural) I think I can understand. I initially made an appointment with a neuro in Lewiston (same city the current one is located) in 2011. They booked me out over 7 months which put me into 2012. A week before my appointment the office called to say they had to cancel my appointment as the neuro was out. I said let’s book it NOW. Then they said they didn’t know when he’s be back. Very odd. I called a week later and they said he was still out. A few weeks later I received a letter saying he had left the practice but they would be contacting me within 10 days to schedule me with one of the other providers. Yes you guessed it ~ they never called. Then I made an appointment with a pain treatment center that  did Botox for Migraines. Also in Lewiston which is 55 miles one way.  Now Botox has to be refrigerated so you pick it up from the pharmacy on the way to the appointment and keep it in a small cooler bag. First visit went well. The second visit I picked up the Botox and we were about 15 miles from Lewiston when I received a call  from the office saying that Dr. XYZ “doesn’t feel comfortable doing Botox and would prefer you book with Dr ABC”. I said “Are you kidding me? My appointment is in less than 30 minutes, you KNOW I live over an hour away, and Dr. XYZ decides NOW that’s he not comfortable dong Botox???”. I had to go the following week to see Dr. ABC whom I actually liked better. Saw him 2 more times and bam! The pain center closed. At this point I gave up on Botox I really did. Then a few months later I was driving down a road in the town closest to me (16 miles away) when I saw something that made me slam on the brakes. Hanging outside a medical building was a shingle for the neuro I had to wait over 7 months for and then he poofed from the practice! I jotted down his phone number, made an appointment and got in within a few weeks. He’s the one who’s been giving me injections until he announced this past August that he was closing his practice in September and relocating to Kentucky. I swear to God this is so bizarre I couldn’t make this up as I’m not that creative. And as I said in a previous migraine post, the states are clamping down on doctors so to get a small prescription for pain medication is like pulling teeth with a pair of tweezers ~ virtually impossible.


I am most definitely not in the holiday spirit. It was with great reluctance that  I put a tabletop fiber-optic tree out today and called it good. It’s hard to be “ho ho ho” when you can’t see the floor, you’re terrified to walk outside lest you fall because you can’t see the ground and lights cause visual disturbances which in turn triggers a migraine. Extremely stressful and it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to see anybody. In the past when I was stressed or feeling pressured I turned to books or knitting but haven’t done either in over  year. I was dreading Christmas anyway because my mind has been drifting back to last Christmas. Our dear friend spent the day with us and following dinner we sat in the great room with the fire crackling and watched movies. I was still very upset over the death of my dog on November 5 and it was his sarcastic humor that got me through both Thanksgiving and Christmas . Yet for some unknown reason I never took a single picture either holiday and after he committed suicide in April 2016  I’ll never have that opportunity again. He was our adopted family member; we spent every holiday together. It’s more difficult than I’d imagined.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline


So I spend my days just piddling around, use the dictating app on my laptop to write a blog entry or Siri on my iPhone to make a call for me. The dictating app hasn’t mastered my NY accent so I have to try and manually correct the apps interpretation of some of my words (don’t even ask). And Siri the brat. Took me 2 years with my previous phone to train her and now I have to start all over again. Just today I told her to call “Mt. Blue Pharmacy” to which she replied “I don’t see a listing for your mother”.

Since this has been such a whiney post I’ll end with something funny. I have the new iPhone 7 but have only set up the most basic features until I can see better. There’s a new feature that, when enabled, lets you say “Hey Siri” and she’ll answer. The other night for the heck of it I said “Hey Siri”. The response was definitely a Depends moment. Siri said “I can’t talk right now as I’m having a staring contest with iPhone 7 Plus and I think I’m winning”.

The Staring Contest
Reason I chose iPhone 7 over iPhone 7 Plus

My Eyes……

My Eyes……

I don’t even know where to begin. I called the specialty practice on October 6 (the day I fell in my vet’s parking lot) and after two weeks they called back and gave me an appointment to see an optometrist on November 1. She said I had a lot of scar tissue on the corneas and recommended they be removed by a laser procedure called a YAG. She offered to RX me glasses then but I said I’d wait for the YAG as it might possibly change my distance vision. She also highly recommended Restasis for dry eyes, a problem I have. She said they would set me up with Dr. Garvey, an ophthalmologist within the practice for the YAG. The receptionist gave me an appointment for December 6.

No one ever said it was for a meet and greet! Not to mention that this doctor was obviously in a hurry. I told her I haven’t been able to drive for  months because I don’t want to endanger  other drivers. Yet less than 15 minutes later she told me when I come back for the YAG, come early in the day so I have time for everything to wear off before I drive home. I reminded her I gave up driving several months ago. Then she said, “Oh you must take public transportation”. I debated whether I should smack her then or wait till later because when she initially greeted me she asked where Rangeley was and I told her it was a 2.5 hour drive one way. I mentioned the Restasis and she had nothing positive to say about it at all and discouraged it’s use. She told me the scar tissue was minimal and shouldn’t really be affecting my vision. Honest to God I sat on my hands at that point. She said she would start with the right eye then I would come back for the left. I told her I had previously had punctul plugs which were like manna from heaven (small inserts that go into lower tear duct thus keeping moisture in and easing the dryness of eyes). I told her the first ones that were put in came out within a week so the next pair were buried deep. Told her that were like manna from heaven for over a year until I had sinus surgery in January 2015 and the blood that forcibly comes out from your tear ducts must have dislodged them. She went to see if they had any (God in a huge 4 level multi practitioner practice like that why wouldn’t they???)  I heard her tell the tech in the hallway “I know I know I’ll be right there. I’m hurrying”. She came back in, inserted the plugs (which looked awfully small) and told me the left one was “probably going to come out”. I agreed and told her it felt like it would (not my first punctal plug rodeo). She flew off. I went to the receptionist who gave me an appointment for January 31. I told her the punctul plug was already dislodging and she said “Call me if it does” It was gone by the time we got home and the right one came out about 9am today. I called the receptionist, left a voice mail at 10:30am but never heard back. Then I decided to call the optometrist I’d seen in the practice on November 1. Figured since they make you wait months for appointments I’d make mine now. Left a voice mail there as well. A girl called me back about 4pm. She told me that I couldn’t make the appointment until I had the YAG procedure (a direct contradiction of what the optometrist had told me). Well at the rate they book I won’t have the second YAG until February and be seen for glasses in March so why couldn’t I make an appointment now to cut down the wait time?  She said the optometrists receptionist was off today but she’s leave a message for her to call me. $20 says she doesn’t. Then she made a huge mistake. She told me people my age have visual issues and it’s part of the aging process. I JUST TURNED 50 IN NOVEMBER!!! She said “I know how you feel” I told her not to patronize me as she had no idea how I felt. That all this is because I lost my glasses while hiking the Appalachian Trail; that I had zero difficulty seeing prior to that incident and that I’d never worn glasses for reading but now I cannot even see the floor in my own house. So unless she REALLY knows how someone feels as an advanced practice healthcare professional I recommend she refrain from condescending remarks.

I am so stressed over this that I’m grinding my teeth so badly during the night that I’ve destroyed my custom made bite guard. Now I think I’ve damaged the root of a tooth because it hurts like hell. Had this happen once before and had to have  dental implants. I’ve gained 30# from inactivity and rarely leave the house for fear of falling. If I could I would sue my former ophthalmologist of 10 years but the laws are very limited in Maine. I had a two part hysterectomy  for what was really a kidney stone and there was nothing I could do. Partial hysterectomy in January and full one three months later in April. I woke up in Recovery Room with the same pain. I lived with it until October when a doctor who was merely a friend asked why I always looked gray. After having a meltdown in front of him he said “I’ll order you a STAT IVP (test) for tomorrow morning. By the time I got home from the hospital there was a message from him asking that I call ASAP. Turns out I had the mother lode of kidney stones and they had to go in surgically from my back to remove it.

This sucks and now I probably need $$$ dental work.  The only thing I’m sure of is I am NOT having any procedures done by the doctor I saw yesterday. If she cannot pay attention to what I’m saying then she’s not getting within 10 feet of my eyes.


She Who Needs A Walker because I’m so freaking old and decrepit. Yet I banged out the highest mountain in this state , Mount Katahdin, in less than a half day. And THAT was  my starting point! After that I entered and completed the 100 Mile Wilderness. Oh but wait! I could still see then.

To My Friend ~ Suicide Is NOT The Answer *Profanity*…

To My Friend ~ Suicide Is NOT The Answer *Profanity*…

There IS a way out of that mindset and I’m going to tell you about it but first you must place your hand over your heart, can you feel it? That is called purpose. You’re alive for a reason so don’t ever give up.


Which one do YOU choose?  Because I won’t lie, suicide is probably easier. Find a method, implement it, go to sleep ~ and die. No more battles, no more bullshit from therapists that overbook and overcharge. No more being a guinea pig for every new treatment modality Big Pharma cranks out. No more failed attempts to make your family understand that you’re in pain, your head is fucked up and you could use some support. No more angst because an employer denied your right under the ADA of 1990 and dumped you from a 17 year job. No more frustration from trying to get an idiotic bimbo at a government office to listen to you, do her fucking job and help you obtain justice for having your rights violated instead of taking the easy way out by convincing you it would be a long hard fight blah blah. Yep been there, done that. Collect your paycheck worthless clerk and get out of my face.

Because that’s what it often is ~ a lonely battle where no one seems to “get” it. Family doesn’t have time or energy for you when you’re in distress but oh boy! Don’t answer the phone when they call one day and they act as if you’ve drained their bank account and crashed their car. They just ooze the love. But ~ I don’t think it’s that they don’t love us but rather, they don’t understand. They expect us to be like them which we can’t do. The irony is, if they lived inside our head for a few days, they’d run and never look back.


Yes killing ones self is probably akin to taking life’s low road. Do you know the road I speak of? The one that winds through dark tunnels and dense forests,  deprived of  light and warmth? It’s cold because of the lack of sun so you miss dew on a blade of grass, springs’ first crocus, a rabbit scampering away as he hears you approach. You miss all the moments both good and not so good of watching your child become their own person. One day your frustration at their attitude or laziness gives way and you see them almost as if for the first time; a productive adult that YOU molded. And though at times their apathy is annoying, they truly do love you. If you kill yourself you create a ripple effect that will remain with them for the rest of their lives. 

Because if you kill yourself, you’re also going to kill the people who love you. You’re going to kill the passion which drives you to do what you do so damn well. You’re going to allow the darkness to win and you’re stronger and braver than that.  If you kill yourself you’ll be giving in to the monsters of the dark who live to drag us into their world of darkness. We’ve both been there yet clawed our way out, sometimes by just a ragged nail or two. That says something ~ it says fuck you! I’m better and I’m more powerful than you. You might knock me down but I WILL get back up. Because I have a life and today is NOT your day to claim it.

In Sylvia Plath’s Unabridged Journal she wrote “I act and react, and suddenly I wonder, ‘Where is the girl that I was last year? Two years ago? What would she think of me now?”

We aren’t the same as we were last year or the year before. We’ve changed, taken steps both forward and backward. Some of the changes were society driven while others were by-products of mental health. Then there is the change because our employers tossed us aside like an old worn out sweater, to be replaced with a newer albeit less expensive one. And that my friend becomes you’re defining moment….do I let these steps, these changes, drag me to a place from which I can never return? Never open my eyes after a nights sleep? Never finish a project I’ve put my very essence into? Never see my child marry? Hold my first grandchild? Never make the difference and be the change I wanted to see happen?  

You are braver than you believe and you are stronger than you realize;  never, ever forget that. And know that although it may seem it now, you are NOT alone. Many of us have been sucked into the abyss, many have attempted suicide but thankfully were saved. Then many like my dear friend last April weren’t as fortunate and those of us who loved them will never fully  recover from their tragic deaths.

Yes there are choices but you must choose the right one. For to do otherwise would deny not only your loved ones (who like all families are  often a PIA) of sharing your life but it would deprive the world of the contributions you have to offer and the continuance of the good work you’ve started.


Update on Luke Stribling, Puppy Killer…

Update on Luke Stribling, Puppy Killer…

Ever since I launched my petition something has bothered me  ~ the media discrepancies in some Florida outlets. It didn’t make sense (yes I’m one of THOSE people who needs an answer) that two media reports would give a completely different version than other media sources about a single event; the first time Luke Stribling took  his puppy Julian to a vet for a broken leg on June 12. Since I wrote the petition, it was extremely important that it be accurate. So I went back the other day to look at the two original  media articles and to my shock they had been changed. Gone was all the damning indictments against both the first veterinarian and animal services for allowing Luke to take an abused puppy home. If I hadn’t archived the original stories I would have thought I definitely lost my marbles. So I emailed each reporter to subtly ask why the change yet neither responded. Hmmmmm.

I contacted Orlando Animal Services to put in a records request under FOIA. They hit my in box the next day. Impressive! Then I reached out to the first veterinary practice and was finally able to connect with the practice manager. You see, the two media reports said that when Stribling brought his puppy in for a broken leg the treating vet became suspicious, did an MRI which revealed even more fractures. Both stories went on to say that the veterinary practice notified authorities but there was “insufficient evidence to seize the puppy” so little Julian went home with Stribling. Not sure if it was over zealous reporting, misinformation, or misconstruing information received but the first veterinary practice never became suspicious because the story Luke told was plausible; Julian caught his leg in the dock slot as he was being walked. They didn’t do an MRI and in fact the practice doesn’t even have an MRI machine. No additional fractures were found and they never called animal services. It bothered me that the two initial media reports gave such detailed yet erroneous information because  what they reported is the type of thing that can tarnish reputations. So I edited my petition today and explained why.

Sadly, everything that occurred when Stribling brought his dead puppy to the vet on June 26 is true. In fact, its even worse than reported.  Reading that poor baby’s necropsy report was difficult for I could actually visualize his last minutes of life and it was disturbing. Forget that I’m a nurse who’s seen more than my share of “gruesome”. Forget that I’m a volunteer disaster nurse with DHHS and have been activated to several equally gruesome disasters. Sitting in a chair reading that report brought tears to my eyes ~ a lot of them


Even though I’ve survived brutality, I’ve never understood why people feel the need to inflict harm. Do they have mutated chromosomes? Or is their gene pool deficient? And how the hell did this pollutant of life, Stribling, manage to reach age 20 without anyone noticing his low frustration tolerance  or propensity for anger? Anger that in an innocent puppy’s case led to a violent death? Frustration and anger are related emotions, but they’re not identical. Some people are able to control anger or frustration and channel these feelings to nondestructive outlets. I get angry sometimes with automated phone systems that seem like an endless merry go round i.e. press this for that, press that for this only to wind up reaching the persons voice mail, leave a message and never get a callback. Frustrating and invokes anger. Yet I don’t throw the phone at the wall or scream when I finally reach a human. Well ~ there WAS that one time after I’d hung up that I threw the phone at the fireplace mantle but we’ll chalk that up to cabin fever as I was homebound. Alone with a broken leg in a wheelchair. In Maine where there’s still snow in April. I actually broke my leg in a terrible snowstorm on wait for it………….April 1!

But all joking aside, why did I toss a phone in an isolated event rooted in frustration while others, like several of the gunmen who committed mass murders, kill people?  Why does someone like Luke Stribling  exhibit a frightening lack of control because his little 7 1/2 pound puppy tinkled on the floor? Such a loss of control that  he punched, kicked and slapped Julian and till he eventually killed him. The necropsy report indicates the severity of the puppy’s injuries and that they’d been going on for some time. He lived in virtual fear of his owner yet no one noticed? No one saw that Luke had anger management issues? Well that is other than Luke’s friends who told investigators AFTER Julian’s death that Luke punched and kicked the puppy for tinkle accidents.


Parting Of The Ways…

Parting Of The Ways…

I’ve been so preoccupied with bringing my dogs blog somewhat up to date that I’ve pretty much let every else go. However I made a decision that is huge (for me at least) and even though I’m relieved by it at the same time I feel as if the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head.

I’ve been unhappy with my small Catholic parish for quite some time. Some of the parishioners would openly mimic the former priest if he made a gaffe in speaking during his homily. I’m a creature of habit and always sat on the left in the 8th pew back from the alter. This “influential” family sat in the 6th pew and I’d watch them giggle, talk amongst themselves and shake their heads the few times the priest misspoke. He was at the podium on our side of the church so I know he saw them. Not sure what it is about the elite in my community because a wealthy and highly respected family had my dog before me and suffice it to say they were not good to her. The priest was like me, an outsider, or as the locals call us “flatlanders”. I was quite sad when he announced earlier in the summer that he’d requested to be relieved of his duties at the parish and the diocese had granted it.The parish had an ice cream social for him as a going away gesture and (4) people came. It was sickening considering it was following the more heavily attended Sunday mass and  people were already there.

The his replacement came whom I’ve dubbed Father Granola. I think I wrote about him a few posts back. The parishioners fawn over him yet he’s got the personality of a turnip.But, he’s a native Mainer. This is his first parish assignment as he was previously a hospital and college chaplain. He’s not a young priest direct from the seminary as he’s mid 40’s but he’s only been a priest for about 10 years.The first night he offered mass he streamlined it by cutting out announcements and things he felt weren’t necessary, like the names of the recently deceased. He stares at the ceiling most of the time and speaks in such a flat monotone that I personally struggle to stay awake. I could probably tolerate all of that but I simply cannot tolerate the BS that goes on with the members of the parish. The hypocritical behaviors and outright meanness has taken its toll on me. I realize every church has its own unique character, or “flavor.” Some congregations are very traditional, while others are more informal in how they express their beliefs. Some may see themselves as very conservative in theology, while others may be more moderate or even progressive. Having said that, I’ve never been a member of a church where  parishioners are so openly repugnant and adults in their 60’s  mock a priest for saying the wrong word or mislabeling the name of a town. Who in their right mind behaves like that? Maybe children in second grade but not intelligent adults. It’s not a Catholic thing, a Methodist thing, a Jewish thing ~ it’s an ugly thing. A perfect example of abhorrent behavior. I just cannot sit there every Saturday night listening to a priest talk about organic seeds and watch people gush over it. Yet at the same time I feel disloyal, as if I’m passing judgement on others when I shouldn’t be. I feel guilt for walking away from the only religion I’ve ever known but in all honesty, I don’t know it anymore nor do I understand it. I don’t necessarily believe that the only way you can have God in your life is by entering a building once a week. He doesn’t live there. He doesn’t have a bedroom set up behind the alter. I think God is within us; He makes us who we are and defines our values and guides our moral compass.

This whole thing is causing me more angst than I anticipated. If there was another Catholic church I’d simply go there but the next closest one is 55 miles and I’m not making a 110 mile round trip. I don’t like all the driving I do now and am not adding another weekly trip into the mix.

In time I might have the answer ~ then again I might not.

On a brighter note, some of you might have read my posts during a recent (3) day blog challenge. I focused on Blue, a (6) month old puppy found October 2, 2015, on the outskirts of the woods near Sunday River Ski Resort in the Western Mountains of Maine. His muzzle had been taped shut. The ACO took him to Bethel Animal Hospital  where he was treated for an extended period of time.

blueHe was saved by one of my veterinarian’s, Dr. Gary Stuer,  who owns BAH. Dr. Stuer said the most remarkable thing about Blue was his ability to love. He was adopted by a wonderful family and on October 8 will be at my veterinarian’s Open House. I’m definitely going and hope to get a lot of pictures of this remarkable boy. We should all have the capacity to forgive and love like this abused yet loving pup. The name of his forever family has remained confidential as Blue’s abuser has not been identified. The HSUS has offered a reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of this despicable person.

I’m not a savvy blogger  so unsure of menus, icons etc. Please click to see my German Shepherd’s blog, Sasha’s Journey, which I’ve created to chronicle her unique and complicated medical issues which include stem cell therapy. She has a You Tube channel, also called Sasha’s Journey,  which covers her journey from onset until present day. Please check both of them out and if you find them interesting, please subscribe and follow. Sasha is a work in progress but most of all, very much loved!

Amazon Shopping *Hint*

Amazon Shopping *Hint*

Fellow bloggers I’ve had quite an eventful afternoon and want to “share” what technique worked best for me in resolving a large mistake on Amazon’s part. Here are the steps:

  1. Send them an email
  2. If no respose within 24 hours use Live Chat or Phone Help
  3. If you are prone to burst of profanity avoid calling them 
  4. Attempt to reason with them using Live Chat
  5. If they give you a less than acceptible resolution take yet different action
  6. Flood Twitter with tweets to @AmazonHelps (I also used @Amazon just for kicks)
  7. Get your Twitter friends to RT
  8. This last step was my personal deal breaker!
  9. When @AmazonHelps responds to your tweets and /or LiveChat ~ mention their drones. Repeatedly and in different scenarios.


My dog had to go on a different food because of the medical treatment which is reversing her blindness. The disorder is endocrine based and to my surprise, sweet potatoes are full of phytoestrogens. Since she was on a Sweet Potato & Fish kibble I had to change it. I cancelled my auto-ship with Amazon the end of July. They confirmed it via text and email. Yesterday I found a box which UPS had delivered with one bag of dog food (my auto-ship was always at end of the month). Today I received a text from Amazon that my other THREE bags of dog food were on their way. Amazon also included my Tom’s of Maine toothpaste order which I had NOT cancelled. So all totalled they deducted over $210 from my bank account and I was furious. When they failed to respond I used the above tactics but kept tossing in their drones. Example:

Within one hour I had this:

FullSizeRender 123

The resolution to my shopping experience…

Taking The Plunge…

Taking The Plunge…

I started this blog to chronicle my AT hike which I realize now was just an attempt to escape PTSD ~ something I had under control until 2012. I’ve made a few posts about my abusive childhood but like so many of us, life got in the way. The death of my “heart” dog Callie Ann, a beloved friend’s suicide and the multiple medical problems of my beautiful German Shepherd Sasha. In the process I found it necessary to end a somewhat long relationship with my therapist, a LCSW. I found another one I liked only to learn my insurance won’t cover her fees because she’s a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) as opposed to a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Insurance companies and even states vary I’ve learned so in my downtime I might write an appeal to my health insurance company. Until then, I’m just going to dive in; get it out of my head. For me words are a catharsis. I use words to give shape to my experiences. Words help me “see” who I am, what I’ve done, where I’ve been, where I’m going. Words help me understand. They are a coping mechanism of sorts, a means of expression through which I can separate the good in my life from the not so good.

Initially I thought it best to blog in chronological order but upon reflection have reconsidered. It would be intensely painful and some days my stress management ability is in overdrive and other days ~ not so much. Instead I’m going to write random entries; if a memory comes to mind I’ll write about it and see where it leads.

Just going to plunge in  because essentially I’ve had:



I know, I know ~ not related but its a German Shepherd!